Posts Tagged ‘free pattern’

    So I finished up two little mini-xstitch projects 🙂 With the rush of daily life, I’ve been struggling to get in any crafting time at all so I am actually proud that I’ve managed to accomplish this much. The first little design is actually inspired by a picture I found on Tumblr & I {confession-time} did it for the sole purpose of being able to make it my cell phone background. It only took about 30 minutes to complete once I made up the chart. The part that took the longest was actually trying to find my needle. It had somehow gotten out of its holder and was buried amidst the myriad skeins of thread in my cross stitch hat box. Talk about the proverbial needle in a haystack. And now, for those of you who are easily offended, please look away now. This is the beginning of the NSFW portion of this entry.

Here I give you the first in a series of subversive cross stitch designs 🙂 I’ll also be including the chart for them. I do all of my designing with a free program called KG-Chart and you can download it here. For this design, as it is fully customizable, I didn’t include floss color #s, even I didn’t use the colors I charted with. Lol. Hope you enjoy!!

And here is the screenshot of the chart I came up with. If you like, you can windowbox the design by using a backstitch around the outside edge, all the way around. See, totally customizable 🙂


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Ok, so not technically, but it will be the first one I’m sharing on my blog. I made this little lady for a friend who had to undergo an emergency hysterectomy. She wanted me to make her something that would make her laugh & she has an amazing sense of humor. So I decided to make her a happy uterus to replace the very unhappy one she was losing. I called her Womb-y, but she renamed her. Introducing Ursula Uterus!

I made her out of some leftover baby yarn and a hook one size smaller than what is called for on the yarn label. She also has pipe cleaners in her Fallopian tubes to make them poseable. Once my friend saw her, she immediately asked me to make Ursula some friends, so I whipped up this little entourage to remind her of all the things she no longer needs to worry about: Sally Sanitary-Napkin, Tammy Tampon & Sid the Sperm.

I am happy to report, my friend loved them & they now live on her desk at work. I love the expression on Ursula’s face; I think it makes her look like she has a secret. So now, on to the pattern. If you have any comments or corrections, just let me know & I’ll fix them! 🙂

What you will need:

pink yarn (I used Bernat Softee Baby)
small amount of white yarn of the same weight (Again, I used Bernat SB)
small amount of black yarn for features
hook 1 size smaller than called for on the label (I used an F)
stitch marker
2 pink pipe cleaners
yarn needle


BO = Bind off
Ch = Chain
Ea = Each
Sc = Single crochet
St = Stitch
Sctog = Single crochet together, used as a decrease. You may use an invisible decrease if you prefer

Happy Uterus Pattern

This project is worked in the round throughout.

Using pink yarn, ch 2
6sc in first stitch (6 st)
(2sc in ea st) (12 st)
1sc in ea st around, using front loop only (12 st)
Work even for 1/2- 3/4″ (mine was 3/4″ to use as a reference)
(1sc, 2sc in same st) around (18 st)
Work even for 1 row
(1sc, 2sc in same st) around (27 st)
(2sc, 2sc in same st) around (36 st)
Work even for 1 row
(3sc, 2sc in same st) around (45 st)
Work even for 9 rows
(4sc, 2sc in same st) around (54 st)
(5sc, 2sc in same st) around (63 st)
Work even for 5 rows
(5sc, sc2tog) around (54 st)
(4sc, sc2tog) around (45 st)
(3sc, sc2tog) around (36 st)
***Stuff with fiberfill before continuing for a firmer finished result***
(2sc, 2sctog) around (27 st)
(1sc, 2sctog) around (18 st)
(sc2tog) around (9 st)
***Stuff with fiberfill. Make sure it is as firm as you would like before you continue***
(1sc, sc2tog) around (6 st)
(sc2tog) around (2 st)
BO & close hole

**I chose to embroider the features on her once she was stuffed, but if you would prefer you can put on the features before you stuff the main body of the project**

Fallopian Tube Pattern (Make 2)

Using pink yarn, ch 5
Sc in ea st around (5 st)
Work in the round for desired length (Mine are 4 3/4″)
Thread pipe cleaner through center- this process can be eased by threaded pipe cleaner through yarn needle & using the yarn needle to help the pipe cleaner through the tube.
Weave in one end of loose yarn.
Use other loose yarn end to sew the tube onto the body of the uterus.
This is the tricky part & can be omitted or done differently if you would prefer: Attatch pink yarn to exposed end. Wrap yarn loosely up & around the stitched to create loops which form the Fimbriae of the Fallopian Tubes.

Ovaries (Make 2)

Using white yarn, ch 2
6sc in first st (6 st)
(2sc in ea st) around (12 st)
Work even for 1 row
(sc2tog) around (6 st)
(sc2tog) twice
Fasten off, stuff & close hole
Sew ovary in the middle of the loops created at the end of the tubes.

I hope you enjoy Ursula! I’ll work on getting the accessories posted soon 🙂
Happy hooking!
)O( Heather

******   UPDATE 3/11/12   ******

Thanks to lovely commenter Cora Shaw, I realized that I never did write up and add the entourage patterns. With the current government legislation on the table, I think there couldn’t be a more fitting time to post these little guys. So we’ll start off with Tammy and go from there 🙂

Tammy the Tampon

Using white yarn, ch2 *leave about a 3 1/2 inch tail, this will become the tail of the tampon when you are all finished*
6sc in first st (6 st)
(1sc, 2sc in next st) around (9 st)
Working in back loops only, work evenly in the round for 1 row (9 st)
Continue working in the round for 8 more rows. Use the blunt end of your crochet hook to stuff your crocheted tube.
(1sc,  sc2tog) three times (6st)
(sc2tog) three times. Fasten off. (3st)
Using yarn end, sew closed so that you have a finely tapered point and hide yarn end.

Now you can enjoy your very own Tammy! These ones work up quickly, so you can make several and package them in an old OB Tampon box to give as a gift to your friends 🙂

******   UPDATE 3/24/12   ******

I cannot tell you how happy it makes me that so many people are looking to this fun pattern right now. I am a firm believer that radical crafting can make a difference in almost all situations; let’s face it, what person could receive a knit or crocheted uterus and not at least smile at the sheer sight of it? I’m sure even our uptight and misguided lawmakers can see the humor in this form of expression (also, just be aware that you may need to amend your attached note to read “Thank you for keeping my/our uterus/i safe” instead of “Now that you have a uterus of your own, please stay out of mine” if your lawmakers are as outraged by the current legislation as some of our lucky friends from progressive states- no need to send the wrong message to people who are already standing up for us).  Now on to the pattern!

Sid the Sperm

Using white yarn, ch 2.
6sc in first ch. (6st)
(1sc, 2sc in next st) around. (9st)
Work evenly for two rows. (9st) **If you want your little spermy slightly more oblong, you can increase this to 3 rows worked evenly, but I worked 2 rows in my example picture**
(1sc, sc2tog) around. (6st)
**Stuff lightly**
(2sctog) around. Sl st to join row and then once again in the stitch opposite from your hook to close the hole, but do not bind off. (3st)
Using your still-attatched yarn tail, ch7.
Sl st in 2nd ch from hook and in next 5 st. Sl st to join to body. BO.
Hide both yarn tails, twist sl st-ed tail to resemble a corkscrew and you’re done! 🙂

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