Archive for January, 2010

I have been asked to music direct “The Last Five Years” in Lynchburg. It’s being done by Wolfbane Productions in association with Renaissance Theater & Aaron Farr is the director.

“The story explores a five-year relationship between Jamie Wellerstein, a rising novelist, and Cathy Hyatt, a struggling actress. The show uses a form of storytelling in which Cathy travels backwards in time (beginning the show at the end of the marriage), and Jamie travels forwards (starting just after the couple have first met). The characters do not directly interact except for a wedding song in the middle as their time-lines intersect.”- from the Wikipedia entry

The Last Five Years is a pretty conceptual musical, as you don’t really know what’s going on (unless you already know the premise) until they meet for their wedding song (The Next Ten Minutes). It’s a great musical, even if the music is particularly difficult. It’s not too bad as long as you have the supporting instruments you need & the pianist isn’t trying to play the entire score alone. If that is the case, your pianist (or… me in this production) should really consider trying to learn to play with his or her feet so it will be easier. I haven’t played this show in its entirety for years, and it’s going to be a struggle to get it back to performance calibre. But I know that I can do it.

I swear, since I laid off looking for a relationship, it’s amazing how much more pleased with and accepting of myself I am. I never realized how down I had gotten because I couldn’t secure a partner but I suppose it had gotten the better of me. Now, I’m nowhere near confident yet, but I can say with certainty that I am not a failure because I am not married with three children by now. It does get difficult when I think about where I wanted to be by this age, but I have some foundation building that I let slide due to the relationship I was in at the time, so I need to rectify that oversight before I move onto building a life with someone.

Even though the process of learning to like myself again is going to be a long and arduous one, it’s about damned time that I started down the right path 🙂 And with the help of my incredibly loving friends, I know that I will get there (if I can just accept that they are telling me the truth instead of assuming that they are just “being nice” or “pacifying me”). 🙂

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My truck is back…

But my will power has gone missing! I’ve looked for it all over the house, in all the closets, and under the beds; I even went outside calling its name. I fear it has been kidnapped. I tried to find a recent photo of my will power to make up a wanted poster. No luck. I realized it had been about 6 years since I had documented my will power. If seen, please return my will power to The Fat Farm, c/o Big Red.

So, my diet has had a couple rough days. I know, I know. I just started. But sometimes it’s hard to kick habits. I have managed to steer clear of the hard alcohol. I’ve only had a couple of beers, a big feat for me. And I’ve had a sensible breakfast & lunch each day. It’s the nights that are the hardest for me. I get lonely, or I get bored, or I get restless, or I just forget to pay attention & mindlessly eat. But I will get a handle on this. It will just be harder than I anticipated. I think I have a food addiction. Some of you out there will most likely think this is a ridiculous notion. How could anyone be addicted to food when it’s necessary for survival? A drug is supposed to harm you, right, not be something you have to have to live? Wrong. Sadly, food addiction is a documented addiction and all the harder to kick because addicts must face their drug of choice at least 3x a day, not to mention being bombarded by radio, TV and print ads peddling the downfall of their “sobriety.” I think I’ll wind up having to go to a counselor. Pretty sure some of my unresolved issues have manifested into emotional eating.

But enough of the sob story. I’ll get the hang of it. I’ll conquer it or I’ll fake it til I make it 🙂 Have a lovely day, all!

Signing off- Big Red

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Well, my best friend and I have just started a new blog on WordPress (bestiesbeatthebulge.wordpress.com). We’ve both made resolutions to better ourselves. She has resolved to lose weight, and I have (knowing how often I fail with that resolution) opted for a resolution to learn to love myself. Right now, most days it’s hard to even like myself, and a great deal of that stems from my insecurity about my weight. I have also resolved not to accept dates, flirt heavily, have any sexual contact with or seek out partners. So, out of sheer desperation, I will need to get a handle on my weight. Let’s face it here; I’m not getting older and the odds of finding the right person and finding “healthy” love are getting slimmer. Unlike my waistline 🙂 But, we have both decided to change this about ourselves. Since we live in different towns, this is going to be our daily accountability to one another and anyone else who stumbles into our little corner of cyberspace. Here is our first post:

“Hello all! Just wanted to take a minute to let you all know who we are & why we’ve started this blog. We are two best friends committed to getting healthy & losing weight, together.

My name is Heather; I am 26 & living in Roanoke, VA. And my name is Courtney; I am 24 & live in Pearisburg, VA. One purpose of this blog is to keep each other accountable and to make sure that we achieve our goals even though we are waging this war in different towns. But we also want to let people know that they are not alone. It happens. One day we wake up and realize that everything has fallen apart. And we’re not who we hoped we’d be. At least, not physically. There are curves in all the wrong places, you don’t wave to friends on the street for fear that your “turkey waddle” of underarm fat will summon the nearest flock of mating turkeys (and what a scene that would make), doing simple everyday tasks is difficult, and you’re sick of being the funny fat friend.

None of us got to this point overnight. It took months, years or even decades to put this weight on. And we know that it will take time to get it off. But we have determination and support on our sides. And with the support of best friends, and anyone else who wants to help us out along the way, I know we’ll get there. To where we want to be. To a place where a better Heather (and a better Courtney) await us, eager to begin the next stages of our lives. 

Here’s to no longer being the funny fat friend. Oh, we’ll still be funny. Pretty damned hilarious, if I do say so myself. But we’ll be svelte and sexy goddesses of humor. And best of all, we’ll love ourselves. And I think i speak for Courtney when I say that this is all we want for each other; and it is.  So climb onboard; it’s gonna be a rocky ride!”

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Musings from 2009

I have a confession: I am an admittedly horrible blogger. Most times, the postings read more like a diary than something capable of holding the attention of someone who doesn’t already know me intimately. But I do have a creative side. I promise. I have had this practice for a while where I try and write everyday. Sometimes, it’s nothing more than a haiku or even a musing, but it’s at least something. I thought for the new year, I’d start off by sharing some of my dailies with you. Keep in mind, most times these are random and some of them are the fruit of the Writer’s Block Tree. But here they are, nonetheless:

Sometimes I wish:

That I still had the

ability to find joy

in the most mundane things

and that I could hear

the heartbeat of a worker

struggling to feed his wife & children

instead of just an

annoying hammer’s pulse.

Sometimes I wish:

The world could

once again be beautiful

and free,

but it’s too busy

being crushed under

the thumbs of concrete palaces.

Sometimes I wish:

That I could parcel my

personality into the

different aspects of myself.

I would keep each isolated

from the others

and wear each like a coat.

I would be the perfect chamelion.

I would be the perfect woman.

Sometimes I wish:

The person who occupies

the whole of your heart

could spare just a corner

of his own

where you could curl up

and keep his soul

warm and safe.


Ancient Ways

There she stands

Practicing her ancient craft.

With athame in hand,

She watches the smoke waft.

Tendrils of sage smoke rise

Slowly curling through the air

Up to the Ancient One’s eyes.

Her will also rides the wind there.

Crystals chosen and candles lit,

She could protect or bind.

Upon her altar the tools sit

Waiting to manifest in kind.

The last ingredient is added…

The most important part;

Adding intention to purpose,

The priestess joins her head with her heart.

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My Cooking Playlist

I am a human jukebox; I love either having or being able to recall a song for any occasion. And being a jukebox, I love to develop the “perfect playlist” for any activity, occasion, holiday or mood. I spend quite a bit of time cooking, either for clients or for family & friends; because of this, I find myself searching for music to fit my culinary moods. Instead of searching and clawing for the right track & often only coming up with the same standard songs that cover a variety of moods, I decided to put together an entire list just begging to be played in the kitchen. These songs can make you dance while you’re pulling together decandent creme brulee or sing while you sweat your onions for a Saturday meatloaf. I hope you enjoy!

  • Mary’s Kitchen- Old Crow Medicine Show
  • Guacamole- Texas Tornados
  • Too Many Dirty Dishes- Albert Collins
  • Chicken Noodle Soup- DJ Webstar & Young B
  • Maximum Consumption- The Kinks
  • Chocolate Salty Balls- Chef (from “South Park”)
  • Cook With Honey- Judy Collins
  • Bread & Butter- The Newbeats
  • Eat It- Wierd Al Yankovic
  • Hey Good Lookin’- Hank Williams, Sr.
  • Be Our Guest- from “Beauty & The Beast”
  • The Frim Fram Sauce- Louis Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald
  • Peaches- Presidents of the United States of America
  • Food, Glorious Food- from “Oliver”
  • Animal Crackers In My Soup- Shirley Temple
  • C Is For Cookie- Cookie Monster
  • I Like Cold Beverages- G Love & the Special Sauce
  • Buttermilk Biscuits- Sir Mix-A-Lot
  • Milkshake- Kelis
  • Recipe- G Love & the Special Sauce
  • Peanut Butter Jelly Time- Buckwheat Boys
  • Cheeseburger In Paradise- Jimmy Buffett
  • The Banana Boat Song- Harry Belafonte
  • Banana Pancakes- Jack Johnson
  • Cigarettes & Chocolate Milk- Rufus Wainwright
  • Shortnin’ Bread- Mississippi John Hurt
  • I’ve Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts- Monty Python
  • Chocolate Jesus- Tom Waits

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