Archive for October, 2008

A Broken Heather

After more than 4 years, my relationship with Brandon has ended. He told me that he couldn’t open himself up to me & no longer wanted to be with me early this morning. I have no idea what to do anymore. I know I’m going to have to move, but when, how, with what money? I didn’t think anything could hurt worse than my last breakup, but I let myself fall more in love with him than I thought possible or practical. And now look where it’s gotten me. No car, no home, no computer, no TV, no cell phone, soon to be no job, no self esteem… pretty much just small little pieces of broken Heather that somehow or another have to be picked up & pieced back together. I don’t even know where to start. I know I have Samm, DJ & the kids. I know they love me, but I’m still an outsider looking in. I miss him already & I haven’t even moved out yet. I guess it’s time for ice cream, sappy movies, and a lot of alcohol. Sad thing is, I don’t even want any of those things. All I want is him to want me. Too bad. One thing I can’t have. Somethings I can have are puffy eyes & a swollen face. I have decided that tears make me look like a chipmunk hiding nuts for the winter… who has also been crying, so its eyes are ridiculously puffy as well.

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